If
your son is a treasure for you that you are not ready to share with the world, you need to do everything so that he can not do without your help and advice as long as possible. Ideally – never. The psychologist Natalia Draga says how to achieve this.
Mother and Son: Features of the relationship
It is difficult to underestimate the role of the mother in the life of the child. Until the baby is three, they make up almost a single whole. The child is not interested in peers, he also does not want to stay with other adults yet. Mom is the main figure, an object of love and strong affection.
Its authority remains absolute over the next few years. The child is completely dependent on the mother, and this is understandable: she knows better what needs to be eaten when to go to bed and what to put on school. Then the stage of gradual removal begins. The parental figure is depreciated, friends come first, and this is a normal separation process.
The main task of the mother during this period is to realize that her boy grew up, and not to prevent him from turning into a man
In adolescence, the so -called teenage riot comes: the boy begins to “show your teeth”, go against tips and instructions. This is a complex turning point, but without it it is impossible to be a full -fledged growing up. The son must understand that childhood is over, it is necessary to become independent, to bear responsibility for his actions and make decisions himself.
The main task of the mother during this period is to realize that her boy grew up, and not to prevent him from turning into a man. For this to happen, completely new relationships should come to the place of the “parent-child” model-the relationship of two adults.
This process for one reason or another may drag out or never begin. And if you want the child to remain immature, infantile – a real “Mamenkin Son”, use the advice below.
Harmful advice 1
Do not accustom him to independence! Cultivate learned helplessness – try to do everything for it. Convince that he will not be able to stroke his shirt correctly. Do not allow you to cook breakfast yourself – what if it cuts off? In a word, inspire that without you he will not be able to do anything, such a position will certainly form a sense of helplessness in him.
Harmful advice 2
Try to abandon your personal life and your own interests for the sake of raising blood. When the son grows up and wants to create a family, you can easily cause a feeling of guilt in it. To do this, tell you how to grow it alone and dedicated it to the “beloved boy” all your life. If the husband is still there, do not despair. Talking that you lived “with this tyrant” only in order to have a father, they will play a good service.